Facing my sexuality before God
“My daughter just told me she is in a lesbian relationship. What should I do?”
“My teenage son came out as gay and now he won’t come to church. Should I require it?”
“My best friend shared she doesn’t feel comfortable wearing dresses any more and asked me to help her shop for men’s clothes. What should I tell her?”
Every week I am invited to comment on heartbreaking questions like these. All around me families are being torn and friendships broken. Christians are asking, what now? I am humbled to be walking with God in the midst of our culture’s struggle with sexuality and sexual brokenness.
I have one Master key that I want to invite us all into: authenticity before God.
One essential item for anyone facing distorted sexual expression is the sincere desire to understand one’s self before God. “Why do I do this?”, “What happened in my life?”, “What do I really believe?”, “What is the truth about this?”, “What do I need?” are all questions I have regularly asked Jesus. He sees me clearly. In fact, I can assure you He knows us much better than we know ourselves. Going to Jesus for the truth of our hearts has a single, beautiful outcome: purity. A pure heart before God is a glorious thing. David points to it in Psalm 51:
Behold, You desire truth in the innermost being,
And in the hidden part You will make me know wisdom.
Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Psalm 51 vividly describes David’s deep despair as God exposes his sexual sin. David comprehends the depth of the darkness of his own heart. It is clear in 2 Samuel 12 there was a disconnect, a blind spot. Somehow David didn’t consider the implications of his actions surrounding Bathsheba. We read he is outraged by his own moral failure. David recognizes the brokenness of his soul and appeals to God for transformation. He doesn’t merely seek forgiveness. David seeks to be changed. I believe his willingness to own the truth of this weakness and pursue renewal preserved David’s legacy before God.
This episode in scripture highlights God’s demand that we submit our hearts and minds to His judgment for the sake of redemption. He requires that we know and understand ourselves for the sake of developing purity. Coming to Jesus humbly we seek answers about our own hearts. This raw exposure to Him leaves a lasting imprint of His unconditional love upon us. He has seen us and we have seen Him.
Jesus is establishing His kingdom in us, not only around us on earth.
He begins in our hearts and minds to take dominion over us. His governance transforms us. The most influential Christians have given themselves wholly to this inner domination. Its fruit is holiness that invites humility and authenticity. To effectively counsel one who struggles with sexual brokenness, one must show the way into this authentic relationship with Jesus, where, like David’s experience of humility before God, a deep inner purity results that extends into our minds and subsequent actions.
To answer our questions about homosexuality we must begin by inviting our sons, daughters, peers, spouses, friends into the inner kingdom of God. Homosexuality should not be our focus. Jesus is always the only effective agent of change. Loving well depends upon our ability to show others how to let Him in so that His kingdom may be established.
Today, I am praying that we all find “The Way” into His kingdom.
©️ 2018 Elizabeth Woning. All rights reserved.