Sexual Identity in the Kingdom of God
There are a variety of perspectives on human sexuality in culture today, so it is essential to turn to Jesus to understand how we should steward this vital aspect of our identity. What is its meaning, purpose and definition? Our sexuality is so much more than an innate drive. Jesus reveals His perspectives through multiple teachings focused on lust, marriage and divorce that accentuate His value for human worth.
In Mark 10 and Matthew 19 (and Luke 16), Jesus uses legal questions about divorce to associate marriage with our call to glorify God on earth. His response to the Pharisees reveals an uncompromising view on the permanence of marriage in God’s Kingdom. Jesus tightens the requirements among men and women for sexual ethics so strictly that His followers are dismayed! He tells us that the union between a man and woman, established at the consummation of their marriage, must never be broken. God’s plan for humanity includes spouses cherishing and loving one another unconditionally over a lifetime.
“…from the beginning of the creation, God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’; so, then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let not man separate.” (Mark 10: 5-9)
In this challenging exchange, Jesus exposes our tendency to objectify and use one another for personal fulfillment and convenience. He shifts the conversation from the legality of divorce to the ethics of marriage. How shall we care for one another, particularly for the more vulnerable spouse? And especially, why?
God’s Design for Sexuality
Jesus turns to Genesis to bring clarity. God’s desire is to reveal Himself through all aspects of humanity, including our sexuality. To Him, the issue is not a matter of what behaviors legally warrant divorce. Instead, He focuses on human identity.
Jesus explains that marriage was instituted at the very beginning, in creation. It is not simply a legal contract. Instead, the unique sexual relationship between a man and woman is intrinsic to our original design. Both unity and equality are expressed through their physical sexuality. They cannot fulfill the divine command to “be fruitful and multiply” without one another. In the Garden, God joins Adam and Eve in marriage and commissions them to fill the earth with His image, so their union will bring order to the chaos beyond Eden. Throughout Scripture, establishing the Kingdom of God on the earth points to the divine restoration of His vision for the world revealed through Eden.
Jesus doesn’t say marriage is required in the lives of men and women. In fact, He describes multiple reasons why people would remain single in Matthew 19, including “eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 19:12). However, He does clarify that God ordained the sexual union between a man and a woman (Jesus refers to “the two” sexes in Matthew 19:5) to be a unique element of human identity that reveals God’s faithfulness, compassion, nurture, leadership and desire to be known.
In the Bible, marriage symbolizes connection between heaven and earth, beginning with Adam and Eve and ending with a wedding banquet for Christ and His Bride, the Church. Marriage reflects God’s unwavering commitment to a personal relationship with humanity. God’s unconditional love for us, His image-bearers, will last for eternity. In light of this, Jesus says the dissolution of the marriage union is impossible. God is uniquely revealed in the union between a man and a woman. Marriage has a powerful mystical reality when it is fully expressed on earth. Intercourse itself hints of God’s nature in an exchange wherein a male must give of himself and a woman must receive from him to conceive and nurture life together. This imagery points to the incarnation of Christ and reveals something of the mystery of the Trinity.
Genesis also shows us that this God-given union has always been the primary target of attack by Satan. By pointing to these passages in Genesis about Eden, Jesus expresses His mandate to heal all of our broken relational structures so that God is seen and revered. Nothing in Jesus’ ministry prioritized sex or sexual identity. Instead, His ethic prioritized others above self. Jesus taught us to scrutinize our hearts and motives (Matt. 5:28), especially in our sexuality, which have the potential to destroy relationships and traumatize us physically and emotionally.
The Family of Christ
Today, our sexual freedom, which favors momentary fulfillment over lifelong commitment, blinds us to the beauty of Jesus’ way. It has caused us to develop transient and temporary friendships and to devalue marriage, extended family, and blood kinship. These are all vital components, both spiritually and physically, of the Kingdom of God. This freedom has even confused our sexual identities.
The Lord created men and women with family in mind. Our sexuality has been designed to establish and bind together families for the sake of revealing God to the world and bringing His Kingdom to earth. If we have somehow lost a vision for the necessity of connecting our sexuality to marriage and the establishment of generations of families, it is time we recover it. The world longs to see God’s beautiful vision for family.
And extending His hand toward His disciples, He said, “Behold: My mother and My brothers! For whoever does the will of My Father who is in heaven, he is My brother, and sister, and mother.” (Matt. 12:46-49)
Partnered with Jesus’ demanding teaching on marriage and sexual expression, singleness in Jesus’ ministry was provocative and counter-cultural. Jesus himself was certainly unusual as an unmarried rabbi. Further, among His disciples were many unmarried men and women. Mary, Martha, and Lazarus are just a few examples of the unmarried individuals following Jesus. Yet, Jesus used the notion of family among all His followers. His disciples, which He called “brothers” and “sisters,” understood the rich safety and loyalty represented by the concept of family. By teaching that we have one Father in Heaven over all who are born of the Spirit, Jesus introduced what we often call the spirit of adoption. We are all called to establish the family of Christ together. Christians comprise a multi-ethnic and diverse spiritual family into which we are all born through the Holy Spirit. Singleness, within the family of God, plays an important role in cultivating and stewarding this picture of Christian community.
God’s vision for culture, within which families are essential, creates emotional and physical well-being through unconditional and sacrificial love. Our sexuality points to God’s desire for us to be together, creating a richly interwoven tapestry of diverse families that are connected. Because we are created in God’s image, marriage and family presents us with a wonderful representation of God as a relational, intimate, and community-oriented person. Jesus’ teaching demands that our sexuality be used to demonstrate these rich, multi-faceted ideals that protect human dignity and create loving culture. He is redeeming our broken and confused sexuality as He establishes His Kingdom on earth.
Establishing Community
The Apostle Paul’s ministry existed in a world that was divided along similar lines as our own. Greco-Roman culture embraced great sexual liberty. As Paul planted churches, though, he taught that it was essential to establish and protect a Jewish model of the family not only among individuals but as an entire congregation. Reflecting the spiritual family modeled by Jesus, Paul spoke of fathers and mothers, and brothers and sisters in all his teaching. The way to establish heaven on earth is through the family structure created in Eden.
In every epistle, Paul persuades believers to embrace an entirely new worldview. Among his demands was the requirement to change one’s sexual practices, especially to constrain one’s sexual expression so that it more adequately reflected God’s character. This set Christianity apart uniquely from the surrounding culture. Paul’s instruction conveys the understanding that a faithful community of believers would not reflect Christ’s agape love when its members could be abused or objectified sexually within the group. In a time when one’s life was on the line (thousands of first-century converts were martyred, including Paul himself) the sanctity of friendship and commitment within these new churches was essential. He knew that sexual promiscuity had a great impact on these communities, not only on the individuals themselves. Sexual promiscuity breaks trust and destroys relationships.
Pointing to the Levitical codes for sexual immorality (Lev. 18 & 19), Paul presents rigid requirements for sexual expression, but he also reveals Jesus’ message of grace and peace. Paul’s writing gives us a glimpse of the glorious mystery of marriage and the way it reflects our communion with God.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish… For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. (Eph. 5:25-27, 30-32)
In every new church he planted, Paul sought to establish God’s Kingdom on earth for all to see. He knew that God’s earthly dominion is built on a family structure capable of reflecting His beauty and goodness. This family of families is a culture in which our sexuality may adequately mirror Jesus’ moral character and desire for our wellbeing.
Following Jesus, the Apostles envisioned a world where God united humanity by destroying barriers between nationalities and ethnicities, social classes as well as between the sexes. The path to truly glorifying God requires humbly coming together as equals before Him. Cooperation and equality between the sexes within Jesus’ ministry was revolutionary.
For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s descendants, heirs according to promise. (Gal. 3:28-29)
This concept of unity among believers creates opportunity for human sexuality to be redeemed through a new lens for life together regardless of our marital status. As unmarried singles, we are called to establish families through the spirit of adoption; and as married men and women, we reflect the life-giving partnership of God with humanity. Travesties like incest, rape, harassment, molestation, and sexual abuse are addressed by establishing a culture of wholeness that reverses the impact of broken families. Following Jesus’ way, our pure-hearted desire to establish community together is compelling and invitational.
Known by Love
Jesus raises the bar on requirements for behavior, but He also invites people from the margins to embrace His teaching. Rather than exclude those who were least likely to embrace holiness, He empowers His followers to comply and invites them into His Kingdom.
“When Jesus had raised Himself up and saw no one but the woman, He said to her, “Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?” She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said to her, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.” (John 8:10-11 )
Jesus promises to establish His teaching within our lives through the Holy Spirit. Rather than condemn us for weakness, Jesus Himself bears our failure through the cross. In exchange, our response is a commitment to love one another as He has loved us.
“By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:35 )
This mandate could radically shift the trajectory of our culture. We are called not merely to reduce our sexuality to the transactional concept of mutual consent, but rather to express actual care to one another through all aspects of our humanity. Jesus’ heart posture cherishes others above self. It has never been more important that Christians rediscover the values that connect human dignity to our roles as God’s image-bearers so we may restore the beauty of our God-given sexuality.